Yes, this happened...

So, I leave work after a terrible day, one that solidified my vendetta against AT&T. Those bastards.

Anyway, I'm heading out to my car when I realize the unavoidable truth: I can't find my keys. I search on the car, around the car, me and Jared search from the car to the break room and back. Neither hide nor hair of them, not even a mechanical dropping.

Nothing.

What's a man to do? Call the wife and admit I failed completely? Not unless I can scrounge up a story about ninjas. Call AAA with the money I don't have? Not... well that sentence explains itself. Luckily for me, Jared's friend arrived with a trunk for of seemingly irrelevant items.

"Sorry Tom," Jared said, trying to contain his good humor, "Kevin's trunk is basically just filled with irrelevant items."

"Jared" I said to him, because it's his name, "items are only irrelevant to those that can't see the links between them."

Yeah, sometimes, this shit just comes out of me, I swear.

So, newfound determination in stock, I take what I'll need from this trunk: a plastic coat hanger, a Nerf gun bandoleer, and a flashlight. Then, like any true man, I start to hum the theme from McGuyver.

Five minutes later, with the adaptation of a hairtie, I've got a passable hook on a cord flat enough to make it through the slightly open sunroof. Let's kick this pig.

Sadly, it's impossible to see through the sunroof, except for a tiny spot where the flashlight shines, and then only when it's from the sides not the top... So I'm flying blind. The bandoleer also can only go in on one spot, which is about a foot from the cup holder where the keys are. Also, the sunroof has some give to it, but I can't hold it up evenly, and still use the hook... unless I had some seemingly irrelevant item that could do that...

... like a box of industrial paper cores, perfectly sized to fit there. Fuck yes, bacon for fucking all.

Ten minutes later, to the cheers of the two men next to me, I'm pulling up a set of keys to a car. To hell with AAA, to hell with calling the wife, to hell with things that were not exactly what we just did.

Moral of this story: nothing is impossible if you look deeper into it, to see that tiny things that connect to make a whole...

End Tally:
Man Card: +5
Nerd Card: +3 with permanent +3 to Dex rolls.