Thursday, May 8, 2014

Goddamn Morons...

Sometimes, even the smartest character becomes a massive idiot for the sake of lazy writing.  It's goddamn annoying to watch a person who just solved a mystery, stand with their back to the man who "kills people with hidden knives" for a full minute while the hero explains that no one else but he knows about it.

Even in good stories, sometimes people just utterly fail at basic survival instinct.  I sometimes wonder if characters in these worlds accidentally eat plates because they forgot where food ended.  Here are some of my worst offenders.

Defiance:
(mild spoilers here, it doesn't amount to much in the show)
Quentin finds the knot that his brother was killed over, then, a man shows up to his house and tries to kill him over it.  Then, the boss of that man, shows up at his house, causes hell, and leaves with the INCREDIBLY CRYPTIC "if you want to know what happened to your mother, come find me".  Like a sudden idiot he does...
This is where he fails every "sense motive" and "intelligence" check his DM asked for.
He meets her, and she will only tell him if he gives her the knot... so he does.  She then spins this long tale about his mother... and he believes her, and leaves her there.  Why?  Seriously now... this woman is evil, she lies professionally, why would he believe a single word that came out of her?
Also in the list of "idiot moves" he leaves her with the knot... he doesn't even try to take it back.  She's what, 70?  Has breathing problems? Can barely walk?  He killed a man in a fist fight, after being hit with a tazer.  There is no way he should let her leave with it.  She can't even say anything out loud, because she doesn't want anyone to know of this things existence.

The man could have pulled it back off the table, and walked out of the restaurant, and dared her to limp after him.  I'd of tossed in something like "thanks for agreeing to speak at my sisters wedding!" just to leave her unable to reply.

Queen City police don't understand criminals:
Arrow is a great show, lots of fun, clever bits in it... then police tend to be morons.  No wonder no one has figured out that the mysterious man with skills that come from years of survival in a harsh land, might be the man who came back the same day the vigilante appeared, is covered in combat scars, and survived in a harsh land for years.  It would be too obvious if the same man had a near limitless fortune which allowed him to pay for any of the severely high tech tools needed for hunting criminals at night.

Besides the point.

Every time the police capture a criminal, and hold them at gunpoint, they approach them slowly.  The first three times, it's forgivable when the ninja master spins around, disarms and beats them into blue paste.  But after the tenth time, there needs to be a workshop on "how to not get disarmed by these roving bands of ninjas".
"Officer Hart, it seems you shot the Joker in both of his knee caps."
"Yes sir, I did."
"Why? You had him at gun point, you should have cuffed him!"
"Sir, he's killed more people than Polpot at that distance.  He's also a lot easier to capture now that he needs two canes."
"But... but..."
"Who's going to be angry with me?  I intentionally wounded a mass murdering domestic terrorist with a history of killing police who have him at gunpoint..."

Or this:
Joker: "You caught me copper! I surrender..."
Cop: *bang, bang, bang, bang, bang*
Joker: *is dead*
Cop 2: "Why? He surrendered?"
Cop 1: "He always says that, then he kills someone, or blows something up."
Cop 2: "But how will we stop his bombs?!"
Cop 1: "We don't, we never stop them, Batman will do it."
Cop 2: "You can't know that for sur-"
Batman: "I stopped the bombs, too bad Joker got a...way... oh."

Seriously, if any of that happened... I'd be ok with it.

3 comments:

  1. I've long been a fan of the theory that at the end of Killing Joke that was not Batman just laughing with Joker but finally offing him. Joker just put a damn bullet in Barbra's spine and nearly killed her... and the Bat just stands there laughing like he's watching Bill & Ted while high...

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  2. the concept of Batman is that because he doesn't kill and brings the killer to justice, he is the better person. It's also a plot hook because it guarantees the Joker breaks out or is released under some stupid technicality and goes on a murder spree again to be caught by Batman again.

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  3. Batman -is- the better person, the officer, however, is just an "alright" person.

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