Misogyny rhymes with Therapy

So, I'll start this off by stating: I am not a feminist.

Why? Because in doing so, I'm illustrating a problem in society; I can't claim to be a feminist, and still have my words taken seriously.  As it stands, I prefer "Equalitist" to feminist, because I support the advancement of all people, like prosperity rockets. 

So, everyone talks about misogyny, which is a word I had to look up how to spell, because that's how little I use it.  Misogyny is basically when a man (or woman, I've met a few of those in my time here) is racist against women.  They may like them, as we like all kinds of things, but they hide a deep rooted anger against them.

I've gone into such things before, how letting little boys get hurt can lead to men with scars, but we forget that sometimes the anger comes from somewhere else, and is just focused here by a third party.  Misogyny is bad, and it's pretty easy to find out if you're misogynistic, or have been jaded by misogynistic views.

Seriously, it's not hard to get jaded, it can happen to anyone.  Women get jaded by the same views about themselves.  Can you imagine that?  You can't?  Because you're just a guy, and guys can't understand feelings?

What do Poe, Keats, Yeats and Oscar Wilde have in common?  All are poets, really good at expressing their feelings, and they're men.  Hell, Orpheus is considered the greatest poet in mythological history, and yeah; guy.

Vikings, Scotts, and Picts... all big on poetry and feelings.  Vikings considered crying manly, deal with it gym coaches of the world.

I know women, who slut shame victims of rape.  Can you even imagine what it must be like to laugh at a woman for being raped? To blame her?  A girl in a miniskirt being raped was "asking for it, really..." but your wife in the same outfit being raped is the start of a Liam Neason revenge movie.

How can a man (talking about a specific person I know), express undying rage at men who sexually harass women, blame a girl for naked pictures of her being spread by a jilted lover?  Or a thief? 

Because it's not that hard to be convinced of this, because misogynists are good at it.  They use the exact same tactic as Neo-Nazi recruiters.  They find those who are angry, feel powerless, and generally are looking for something to stand against. To these people, they don't just say "it's the wimins", because they're not stupid.  They just drop little hints, and everytime something goes wrong, they point the finger at the nearest person without a penis.  Because people with those don't make bad choices. They give people a torch, and tell them to stand with all those happy people over there having a scowling contest.We're all looking for some injustice to stand up against, and here we are, being handed a person who we can hate together, as a family.

Ever listen to a bunch of internet misogynists rant?  Do they sound angry?  Not usually.  Mostly, they sound happy, as if they can finally do what they always wanted: prove themselves right yell really loudly.  People will listen to them now!  That's all most want, a little attention now and then.

Never base your enrollment into a way of thinking, or a side of an argument, by the charismatic leader.  Base whether you side with a group of people, by the people in the group.  Read the comments on an article explaining why a woman who's ex-boyfriend distributed nude pictures of her he took, and deliberately set out to destroy her life.  Even when you think they've drifted away, keep reading.

Find the masses, when they start calling for her suicide, or call her family to threaten her life.  Listen to their anger that seems impossibly directed at a single person they likely didn't know existed until they happened to click on the same link as you.

You may find that you've been standing behind a group of people with torches, about to lynch someone because "meh, it's Friday."

A little too much swagger in ones' step.

It's been a week since Harpers, and my ankle finally functions like an ankle again, and not a cybernetic limb set on "pain".  So, all the pictures have been put up, and I've finally sifted through the lists of people who I couldn't name on the street trying to friend me.  Ok.  Time for the educational post.

"Your Mouth Writing a Check Your Ass Can't Cash."

That's right, today we're talking about Bravado. 

Bravado is the act of your mouth writing the proverbial check, to which thine ass will be standing in line with at the bank of violence later.  Bravado, bragging, swagger, and such, are not manifestations of someone being egotistical.  They're simply someone giving the world a show.  For fighters, this has a more definitive line, because there's repercussions after.

Usually, before a battle, tourney, or just straight up match, many of us fighters will do a bit of trash talk to the "Enemy" (friends we kill).  I'm no exception, I frequently ask if it's acceptable to remove the heads of my enemy to present as a gift to the barony.  I'm fun like that.  A few lines of dialogue before a fight add a sense of humor to it, which, when you're pretend killing someone, is very much needed.  So feel free to boldly make a claim to your opponents future widow, or threaten to use their skull as a decorative flower vase.

Just remember, no one has any sympathy for you when you die then.

If you go into a fight having made a grand claim to pose your future dead enemy spread eagle so he won't fit in a casket, and then find yourself on your back, while the audience votes on "Egyptian or Greek" for your death pose; you have no one to blame but yourself.  There is nothing we humans love more than seeing someone who stood up on the grandstand, fall flat on their face.

Which is why educational videos on Youtube get seven hits, and videos of skateboarders falling down hit in the billions.

The problem with bravado, is that some go too far with it.  A bit before a fight is good, a bit of "I was goddamn amazing" after being goddamn amazing is alright.  Just don't be that guy who spends the previous week making grand claims as to your fighting prowess, and then fight six matches that end in unclear draws, and one time everyone just said "fuck it" and walked away.

Because the guy who made the quip about "using your eyes as mothballs" gets the benefit of doubt when there's a question as to "who hit who?", but the guy who spent the previous night explaining how he had more skill than half the army combined.

I tell people that "I've been doing martial arts and sword work for about twenty years now", though rarely as a bragging tool. I like to use it to stop people who're either; trying to explain a basic concept like "force" to me (I've heard every plausible definition), who are trying to critique me, yet spend most of their time trying to soften the blow to the point where it's Nerf ("your elbow is a bit out of sorts for that parry" "Thanks!), or I tell people that to explain why things are difficult, because I've been doing this for around two decades, and things still sometimes don't go my way.  "Remember, twenty years might seem like a long time, but most of these styles were developed over centuries, and refined through more centuries... you'd need a much longer lifespan to truly master anything in this day and age."

SO, when one steps into a duel/fight/battle, after having spent the previous week explaining that they are the greatest, they get no wiggle room.  I've had friends make those grand claims, and then be confused when no one cared that something did not go their way.  So, I've made a helpful motto to remember:

"When one fighter fights dirty, both fighters get dirt on them.  If one of them was talking trash, they're now dirty, and smell like trash."

When you walk away from the fight, do you want to be remembered as the fighter who fought clean, fun, and everyone wants a piece of now? Or the one who everyone is pretty certain is going to contest every hit against them?